Still Survive

fuhh. sori lama nda update my blog. things have been shaking up lately and i have been trying to avoid internet as parts of my personal problem. but that problem is settled now so here i am, giving you guys the best thing in this world that you should pay attention like you are studying in your favorite subject's class, MY LIFE.

well, live has been tough these past few weeks. and it is, i have to say, because i was stupid. yaa. i was stupid enough to let someone get into my life, turned it up-side down, and walked out from it - just like that. hmm. memang salah aku pon. aku terburu-buru kot sampai semuanya jadi kelam -kabut, and as the result: it is broken. totally broken.

tapi memang dari awal laie aku da agak. i see it coming, though. masa mula-mula dia approached aku dulu, things have been too good to be true. kami da plan smua, pi mana maw dating, pi mana maw lepak, bila maw dating, etc. so it is kinda weird to plan everything when it was only our first day we got to know each other. so aku da pikir, macam mustahil ja semua ni. like i said, too good to be true.

we ended up badly. like, real bad. haha. aku da tried banyak kali untuk save that relationship, tapi nda dapat. sekejap ok, pastu gadu lagi. so, it went on and on like that and up until one point, we gave up trying. aku sebenarnya sudah lama give up dengan dia. tapi i was stuck in this idea of having a perfect partner (aku rasa macam dia ne memang perfect untuk aku laa kunun). that was why i fight for that love, coz i think that it was worth the fight. but too bad, i was wrong.

i guess we wanted different things from a relationship. dia mau yang easy, steady phase punya. tapi aku mau yang just roll with the punches, take chance. so we are different from that point of view. and yang paling teruk, i am a sms-addict, and dia pla nda. haha. ni la punca paling besar kami slalu bergaduh. :)

but it is over now. walau pun it was a very short term relationship, but it hit me like nothing else before. mungkin sebab aku betul2 sayang ma dia, ntah la. atau pun aku terperangkap dengan idea of this perfect couple. mungkin juaa. tapi, memang sakit la time kami da "break" tu. sayang kaan. it is over before it even began. and yang paling sedih tu, kami da made a pack yang kami mau jumpa bulan September. yeap. September became our trademark. kami pi letak alternate name di FB as "September". haha. so silly kan? and we even make a same status statement using September as the idea. haahhaa. sangat palui.

baa. nda pa la kan. another day, another heartbreak. i guess i learn a lot from this brief whirl-wind romance. mungkin aku patut blajar untuk take things slow down. yaa la. if it is meant to be, it meant to be kan. plus, apa guna jua maw rush things. it will make things become messy. and we don't want that. but, looking it from another angle, i realize that i have this ability to loe someone with all of my heart even though orang tu orang baru dalam idup aku. haah. pelik kan? tapi memang pla gitu.. apa leh buat..

so, it is just antother chapter in my life that i have to move on from. it is hard of course, but it has already been 2 days i start this new chapter without involving the idea of September. haha. and so far, i am doing very good. :D

special shoutout untuk budak tuh a.k.a My September Love (weeekkkk...), i am so sorry that it has to end badly for us. sorry for everything, and thanks you fr coming into my life and put a litte bit of colors to my life. kita nda dapat jadi apa2, mungkin not even as frens, but i want to tell u that i truly care for u. ko jaga diri baik2 ok? u will always have a piece of my heart. i love u. :p

baaa. it's time for me to take another round of listening to Tiada Lagi Tangisan and cry my heart out.