Rest In Peace

it is a sad, sad day. it really is. macam nda percaya pla aku. kawan aku yang aku kenal dari Facebook, rupanya sudah passed away - without me knowing it. aku baru ja dapat tau hari ni, sedangkan mayat dia da di bakar di temple kemarin. gosh, it's a sad, sad day. my heart is devastated by the news.

Eng Kui Hui, atau nama Facebook dia Fai Chai aku kenal dari Facebook ja. kawan-kawan biasa ja. nda jua rapat. but we chat a lot and we've got to talk about things, any thing. i still remember the other day, the last time that i chat with him - he seemed ok. funny as ever. and nda lepas tu maki hamun dia. haha. we talked about my study in UMS and how he oftentimes bored as he has nothing to do back in his hometown. dan malam tu, dia ada sms aku pi number Digi. ni yang dia cakap:

"Akie. capat2 ko dtg KK ging. sa blanja ko sana waterfront. capat ko. sa ndada masa da ne. haha."

tu yang dia cakap. by that time, aku anggap it is just a simple joke. ea la. dia ne lucu2 jua ne acai satu orang ne. but little did i know, this is one of the signs. if i knew it back then, i would reply to that message.

aku nda tau pun napa dia passed away. aku baru kontek kawan2 yang lain but so far no answer. when i visited his wall page this morning, my heart broke down and i burst into tears. nda tau napa. nangis aku baca semua wall post dorang2 yang lain. sedih gila aku, padahal aku baru ja kenal orang ne. nda lama pun. mungkin dua minggu gitu laa. plus, nda pnah jumpa dia. nda pnah lepak ma dia. all we do is simply text each other and chat via Facebook chat. tapi when i looked at all those heart-warming messages, i broke down and cried.

aku nda kenal lama ma dia, but through out the short lived friendship that we had, he was the nicest guy ever. bagus ne orang. ceria ja. nda pandai maw marah2. selalu kasik aku nasihat sebab aku ne kadang2 emo jua, telampau melayan masalah. and he always said to me "masalah tu jadi masalah kalau kita pikir banyak2. cuba pedulikan sekal-sekala". 3 words - BEST. ADVICE. EVER.

salah satu sebab mungkin kenapa aku broke down is that DEATH is such a taboo thing for me. yeap. it all has something to do with the death of my greatest friend ever, Arwah Mirdat. hmm. it's been almost 6 years but i still couldn't get away from it. it hurts so much knowing that the one person that we care about, that we cherish so much - went away and will never come back. sakit wooo. macamana kita maw lepas rindu sama orang yang sudah nda ada di dunia ni? apa yang mau di buat? dapat menangis ja meratap kan? memang orang cakap - jangan nangis, nda bagus. nanti roh dia nda tenang. bagi aku, FUCK IT! this pain hurt so much!!!

bagi aku, this is the one time that it's ok to be vulnerable. it's ok to be broken down. dealing with death is the hardest thing ever. sial la sapa cakap kita boleh jadi tabah untuk hadapai kematian. no. we will never. especially when the death itself took our beloved ones. it's not easy. ada orang cakap it's ok, things will get better. pelan2 saja. nanti lama2 ok tuhh.

FAIL.

nda ok. nda akan pernah ok. tiap kali aku tringat pasal Arwah Mirdat, it feels like a bit of my heart get cut and burn into dust. sakit sangat2. aku rasa some of you out there knows what i'm talking about coz at one point, we all suffer from a tremendous lost.

in memories of my Arwah Mirdat and my Facebook friend, Fai Chai - i dedicate this song to all of the lost souls. rest in peace, bros. you guys are the favorite of God's, that's why they took you away from us. this video is dedicated specially to my Arwah Mirdat: the brightest and shiniest voice of the heavenly choir.

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.

Edited: i just found out that Ah Hui was involved in a car crash on Saturday, and he died on the scene. may God bless his beautiful soul.