Wow. It has been a while since my last post. And I really mean it. It HAS BEEN A WHILE. It's not like I am giving up on this blog or whatever, geez, my blog is fine. It's just I have been too busy with my study, with volleyball, and simply busy being fabulous. Deal with it.
Life has been a true roller-coaster ride lately. Well, emotionally speaking. It is kinda funny how my mood swing from one to another. One minute I am the happiest unicorn in the world living in the fantasy land and poop rainbow candy, and the next minute I will be as miserable as those old ladies from the Titanic movie. I don't know if it is healthy for me or not, but one thing is true; emotions are created for us to embrace, so why not?
The most important thing for me right now is trying not to be a bitter person. I need to learn how to control my emotions, not to get overly attached with something/someone, and just enjoy the ride. I realize that most of my emotional disturbance is caused by my negative thinking, so I need to work on that department.
I always believe that the journey towards becoming a better person is a day-to-day struggle, it really is. One day, we might fall of the wagon. But for me, that is okay. We are human. We are bound to make mistakes. What's important is that how are we going to stand up and get on that road again and fight. I have to say I have that moment where I feel like I wanna give up being nice and continue being the old me. It will be much easier that way. But then again, that is the reason why I am a lone-ranger. It's because I push people away. I want everything to go on my way, and if it doesn't, I will start a rampage. And that is not good.
I have this ability to push people away. It's my super power. LOL. It's just something that I do. There were so many good people that came into my life and I pushed them away just like that simply because they don't roll my way. HAHA. That is the problem with me. I am pushy, I am overly-attached, and I am a bitter person. So that's why I need to change.
I am still struggling to be that better person. I have to say, I am doing good. It is a small step-by-step that I am taking. There are some hard days, but honey, you can't make a rainbow without some raindrops, right? So, I am trying. And I am fighting to be a better person.
I know life is a complete roller-coaster ride. One minute you're up there in the sky, and the next minute you are down near the ground. There are so many things going on in that roller-coaster ride. But one thing that I have learned is that when you are going in for the ride, put your hands up and scream and enjoy that fucking ride.