this hair cut is so important to me, macam aku cakap tadik. the reason why i chose to go to cut my hair is my hair is obviously getting longer and longer and it gets messy. trust me, give me one more week and i will give Amy Winehouse's bee-hive a run for her money. panjang betul sampai mau tidur pun nda selesa. rimas ehh.
tapi other than that, it has a much more significant meaning to me. for me, cutting my hair is like letting go some parts of me that i don't want to hold on anymore. yeap. it is so Britney Spears circa 2007. but that's the truth of it. my life has gotten so complicated that i feel like i need to cut my hair to get it right. LOL. tapi memang betul la jua. aku pun nda tau napa kebelakangan ne macam-macam jek jadi ngan aku, in terms of personal life. balik dari MASUM ari tu, aku pikir macam maw relaks-relaks la sudaa. sekalinya tinguk. hadoii. macam-macam laie jadi. hmm. pening kepala aku.
rasanya aku nda perlu laa maw cerita satu per satu masalah aku sini. nda berbaloi. lagi pun kalau korang dok perhati status aku di facebook korang paham laa. ahaha. aku sendiri pun nda paham kenapa aku susah maw maintain good relationship dengan orang. it's like i'm a disasterous relationship magnet, a walking kiss of death. nda bleh tahan lama. mesti ada jek benda yang buat aku push away people from my life. mungkin sebab in the past i have some relations that i really care and hold it dear to my heart, but it ended up badly. so mungkin sebab tu sekarang aku rasa takut maw let people in. aku takut nanti at the end of it i will be let down all over again. sakit baa tu rasanya kan...
sebab tu la aku being overprotective over myself. i keep myself in this wall of illusion supaya orang nda bleh datang dekat dengan aku. kalau ada apa-apa, aku cepat-cepat push them away. it gets to a point where i will completely cut out people in my life simply for not replying my text message. gila kan? banyak da jadi cam tu. aku pun nda tau kenapa. at times i tend to be pushy. aku selalu desak orang samapi dorang rasa nda selesa dengan aku..
that's just the reality of it. kadang-kadang rasa sakit hati jugak sebab i've met some wonderful people in my life but i push them away simply because i am being overprotective of my heart. too bad sebab some of these people are truly great friends but i decided not to have them around any longer. buduh kan gitu?
so, aku rasa i need to stop. maybe i should open my heart more. let live. see what's out there. Arwah Mirdat is not coming back, we all know. so maybe i should stop being so cynical and start to explore other options that are offered in life. who knows maybe i will find some new bestfriends in the future kan?
that's why i decided to start anew. yeah, it sounds kinda lame. macam sangat yakin la maw start idup baru tapi pukimak la sana. betul-betul da ne. i guess it's time to get a new life. :)
so upacara potong rambut ne kira macam 1st step untuk aku mula idup baru laa. potong rambut tu macam lambang yang aku mau singkirkan semua things of the past yang buat aku caught up in such a stupid situation, and the first is a sense of being overprotective. kira macam semua benda yang lau-lalu tu cukup la di simpan jadik kenangan. sudah-sudah la tu kunun. haha.
the next step should be for me to start running again. yaa. lama da nda jogging. rasa macam rimas badan ja gini. haha. udah la aku sekarang ne kurus, di rumah pla makan jek kerja aku. naa. dua hari ni back-to-back umah kazen aku ngan rumah aku kenduri. sangat runsing aku berpikir macamana aku maw kasik abis makanan ne. macam senggugut aku menengok makanan di rumah ku ni.. huh. ini tidak boleh jadik! aku mesti jua running balik! haha..
setakat ne running masih nda dapat laie ditunaikan sebab kan kami busy kenduri 2 hari ni. so aku busy menolong orang rumah dalam menguruskan kenduri tersebut (deii. padahal makan ja kerja). tapi tinguk laa bisuk. memang nda tahan da maw lari ni...
hmm. tu ja la. i got a hair cut and i look awesome. :) it marks a new beginning for me. let's hope that this new beginning can bring out the best of me.
p/s: here are some of the pictures of my brand new hair. sorry pasal low quality. amek pakai handphone jek..
Akie...ur new hair is soooooooooooo cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllll...Ngam sama ko ^_^
ReplyDeletehahaah.. macam taeyang kan aku?
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