L.I.F.E

it is kinda funny how life works out. i used to be a player, a very naughty and slutty one, and i was very good at it. but then, as i want to stop, and i really want to change, peopl just don't give me a chance. like they always say, A SLUT WILL ALWAYS BE A SLUT. to be honest, that kinda hurt.

people don't change, i know. but people grow up. as do i. i think i am in a phase where i already have lotsa fun and now i want to "settle down". i think it is time to me to have a real relationship. it has been a while though since my last break-up, and it was very nasty. well, any one of us.. sometimes, SHIT JUST HAPPENED. so i took almost 1year and a half not to get into any relationship. just throw myself out there. see what the world are made off. and i had a blast!

but like i said, as for now, i am really looking or that relationship, the one that i can hold on to and call it "MINE". but i guess, when you got hurt a lot, you started to build a fence around yourself, not letting anyone get in coz you're afraid that someone will hurt you again. that's what i did. there are so many good people came to my life, and i ended up throwing them away coz i don't wanna get hurt again. you know what i am talking about right.

i know i may seems like a PUSHER. i push people. but the reason why i push people is because i feel so STRONGLY about that certain thing. that is why i keep on pushing it to make it work. to be honest, i don't really fall in love or like anyone now like i did back in the days. when i say I LIKE YOU, it means I REALLY LIKE YOU. i am not flirting with you. i think i have grown up now and i know what i want. but too bad, people will always see me as a SLUT, and i dunno if it will change or not.

i have lotsa love to give to that one right person. if i push you, sending u mails non-stop, it means that you are the one. LOL. so it is up to you to respond how. let me tell you, my heart was broken very very badly and i don't think i could go on anymore. but i don;t want that to stop me. i know we all get hurt at one point. but that doesn't mean we can stop loving.

one thing i wanna say is, i think we all deserve to be happy. don't punish ourself for the things of the past. WE CAN NOT CHANGE THE PAST, BUT WE CAN LET THEM GO, AND START OUR OWN FUTURE. life is filled with shit, but we can choose to be happy if we want to.

so come on take a ride with me on this journey. let's see where we end up together. :)